The New Guy

Like every diary I have ever kept before, this one started out a bit focused, and then degenerated into the scribblings of a madman with ADHD. As Stephen Merchant once said, "It's like something you'd find written by a psychopath. There would be like weird ravings, pictures of women with knives in their faces, and this sort of nonsense." But despite that, I've actually got something to say here, and a new plan for the diary.

First of all, tomorrow is the first real day of my new job as a professor. There isn't much to do, other than go in for the new faculty training/orientation, but even something as simple as sitting in an auditorium and listening to administrators prattle on about policy for three hours seems like a huge looming beacon of the realities of having a J.O.B. It is the proverbial tip of the iceberg, with semesters (God, years) of work and effort stretching out, hidden, behind it. It's like when you block out the Sun with your thumb, only in this case, the Sun is the future, streaming toward me, and the thumb is this meeting, which reflects the light (i.e. the existence) of the Sun, but which also blocks it from my direct view. In any case, terrifying and exciting at the same time.

Then, Wednesday, I embark on my drive to my alma mater, where I will defend my dissertation, obtain the title "Doctor" which I have worked so hard to garner, and party myself sick for a day or two before returning here, where my classes begin in earnest on Tuesday next. Needless to say, I will feel much better two weeks from now. However, even then, I fear that there will be a considerably longer adjustment period, in which I will have to adjust to working not at home, waking up during the morning hours, and acquitting myself properly in all the administrative (which I am mentally pronouncing ad MIN is tra tive) tasks of which I am still unaware. I hope that, come December, my completion of the semester, and my actual receipt of my degree, I will feel considerably more comfortable here than I do now. As it is, I am more than a little apprehensive.

Perhaps because of this apprehension, I hope to transform this journal into a record of my life during this opening chapter in my academic career, if as nothing more than a place to pour out my more unpleasant emotions so that I may sleep easy on nights like tonight.